Anyone missing a shadow...

because I have one to spare. At least, that's what it feels like. My 3.5 yo is competing with my actual shadow for top billing. What is up with that? No one told me that when I had kids, I would forfeit any and all privacy for the "fill in the blank"...how long does this last? Is this, like, forever? Or just until they move out? Or until they get actual lives of their own? And then do I turn into their shadow? Ironic, huh?

I get my privacy back and then infringe on theirs (for their own good, of course).

Some days, mostly mornings, I just want a few minutes. To do mundane things, like pee or shower or write in this all important blog. But I rarely get a few minutes, especially since B dropped her afternoon nap. Now it's on like donkey kong every freakin' day. I start looking at the clock around 3 or so, counting done until Ben comes home, slaps my hand like WWF and takes over for a bit. Who knew how precious an hour or so is until it's gone?

Some of you may be thinking, "there's always post-bedtime privacy". You are correct. However, I am wiped out by the end of the day and almost (I said 'almost) don't enjoy it. I feel ready for bed by 8:30/9:00 most nights. What is going on with that? I'm basically getting bitched around by my kids during the day and my age at night. Now, I'm not saying I'm old old (turn 34 on Friday), just that my body is showing signs of age. Like not being able to recover from late nights easily or the crows feet nesting nicely around my eyes. Okay, back to my original point. As I get older, I want to go to bed earlier, leaving less time for "post-bedtime" alone time. SOOOOOOO...

The moral of this story is carving out time for yourself is important, if not an impossible task. Maybe I need to wake up 30 minutes earlier for some pre-wake up silence and reflection. Or incorporate the hot yoga class I grouponed. Or start running/walking in the evenings after Ben gets home. Anything will do. Moms tend to sacrifice their time for the good of the family, when in reality, it would be better for the family if moms reclaimed their time.

So, here's to finding some time for ourselves each and every day. And to loving all our shadows.

Peace, J

Oh What a Night...

was one of my favorite songs in high school. It brings back memories of Chinese fire drills and parties and laughter (and keg stands, shots and just general drunkenness). My Friday nights used to be so wild. Not so much anymore. Now I work double duty since my H works a double at his 'other' job. At least we both get to drink at our respective establishments.

So when I head up to bed is usually about the time I use to head out. I don't miss hangovers. I don't miss the shots that induced the hangovers. Or other alcoholic beverages ingested in excess. But I do miss the dancing. A lot. I.love.to.dance. Like, for realsie. I'm not saying I missed my calling or anything. I don't belong in any music videos or backing up singers on tour BUT I still love to shake it. Dancing makes me happy. Like, really, really happy.

I try to have music on as much as possible when I'm home. And then get B to dance around our living room. I think I passed along my dancing genes because she also likes to move and groove. Wonder if E picked any up as well. Guess only time will tell.

My hope is that my dynamic duo doesn't find me too embarrassing later in life...because I plan to dance till the very end. To rap music at that. Word. For realsie.

So maybe I don't party like a rockstar anymore (let's not count the recent happy hour that turned into happy hours...), but I should plan more nights out dancing. I think it's safe to say I would be a better mom, a better wife if I had more dancing in my life (I think I just came up with a new song lyric...check out that sweet rhyme). Did I just have an Oprah "ah ha" moment? Think so.

So here's to the little things that make us happy...and to actually doing them. I'm planning a dance party sometime soon...O'Briens or Federal House...here we come. Or maybe I'll get crazy and roll to DC. Whaaattttt.


Peace. J